Thursday, January 17, 2013

A "New Year 2013" brings not only luck, but a new outlook...


We'd like to wish everyone a wonderful, magical and "lucky" new year in 2013 and we hope that all of you are prepared for what's to come as there are some exciting things coming your way.

For those following our posts for all of 2012, we appreciate your support and although we will continue with brief updates, the posts were removed. But no worries folks, the details of what this poor woman has gone through have not been forgotten, nor has she been lost in the world with the rest of the victim's. During the holidays there were some horrific things that occurred, but there were also some many good things. In light of the good (always the focus), she remains hopeful that someday this will all come to end. Until then, she forges on with determination to continue with a somewhat normal life (whatever that new normal be).

For now, her "stalker, hacker & harasser" remains alive and well and although he may be having difficulty with entering what is supposed to be her "safe" home at will as he used to, at least not with her new house guest and the fact that her home has been secured. In retaliation, however, he has slammed her on the Internet tenfold. It is a shame as she has been hit extremely hard in so many areas including what brings her joy and balance, it is a wonder she is able to maintain inner peace at all. 

This guy has now been allowed to enter her social media and business accounts at will, including the changing of codes that track things from traffic to payment; he's been allowed to change profile information to security information – and who knows what else. She recently had to put a fraud alert on her credit as a safety precaution for strange activity. She was told multiple issues were happening by authorities, which we knew all along, and it's no doubt there are multiple back doors.

She is doing everything possible to ensure her life doesn't get further ruined while he continues to find ways to make her think of him daily (isn't that the way it works with “this type” of person?) What is most troublesome is that it is being allowed, continuously, repeatedly, day in and day out. We have come to the conclusion that with things like erasing the tracking code he thinks it will erase the trail that leads to him; but surely he knows that it's not just her who uses such a code – that the publishing tool and site would use the same, thus authorities could trace him and his location in a matter of seconds. So perhaps it's not the tracing of his steps he wants removed but rather the ridiculous time it takes for her to have to re-enter the information, and more to the point – her thoughts of what an idiot he is or how much she dislikes what he is doing (the whole "she has to think of him" theory). Plausible, we suppose. But again, everything has a theory and truth behind, and whether it leads to a “conspiracy theory” behind the mind of a psycho or simplistic theory behind simple human error found behind “incompetency,” the truth always comes to light and reveals itself. Always. The good news with him being so diligent in his efforts to screw with her livelihood – by the doing of this, it brings the events from a minor misdemeanor and innocent hacking arena to categories lingering in the felony count zones.

This woman is strong and comes with a great deal of patience; that we have witnessed for ourselves. She said it has been extremely difficult in many areas, sometimes it felt she had been hit from all sides, with some people that didn't understand or who may have questioned something that had happened (making her feel they were questioning her); she even said some questioned her belief in some of the events that occurred, as if maybe it was not related somehow (just questioning her made it feel they were doubting her). She said it almost became easier to withdraw than to have to help people understand or to help them want to be more supportive. 

We tried to explain to her that this was normal; that some victims do withdraw with some even feeling more alone, especially when family and friends don't understand what the victim has gone through, or what they are currently going through – most particularly a tragedy that lasts a long time, such as with abuse. And even further broken down abuse goes much deeper when it comes to understanding such as with aspect or the length of time involved; some victims live in abusive relationships for years, many not leaving for fear. And oddly, sometimes a woman may stay out of loneliness. On the other side of that abuse coin might be those that want to leave but don’t how to begin; some may not have a clue how if that’s all they’ve known (such as right out of high school into an abusive relationship) or who don’t have help, or local support, financial assistance – or who simply just don’t know what to do to get out of the relationship. Regardless, it is equally damaging, and to an outsider, equally or more difficult to understand.

There are of course other types of abuse that occur in instances such as with this woman, where the abuse comes in many forms from the abuse of her “safe” space at home, to her computer (social networks, email that is supposed to be “private” to her phone, car, personal files, records, etc.) and the occurrence of such lasting for well over 2 years. Such a violation mimics abusive relationships, and, it can be difficult for others to understand – and rightfully so (there is no right or wrong with being the victim or supporter).

What we’d like to express is that crisis doesn’t just hit a victim, and it affects everyone in their lives – family, friends and even coworkers. And quite honestly, with what has happened and is happening to this woman, every single day of her life, imagine the frustration for her and for those that love and support her. It just can’t be easy on anyone.

Perhaps the one thing we can offer to others who may have a friend or family member experiencing crisis (of any kind, really) of whom they don't understand, or that maybe you’ve reached a point of being unable to take “any more of the story” out of frustration  we can only say this: Take a break. We often tell the victims this as well. Without taking a step back to find a different view, there’s no way to be able to accept or change perspective or direction.

The other thing we try to tell supporters is to just try to let the person know you care; trying to fix or change a problem immediately is not what victims want – they want only to know they have support and someone who cares for them. Being a victim is often more like existing in a dark and scary world, and very much alone. As friends and family who love and want to help these people, to see anyone they care about suffering hurts so naturally the first thing anyone tries to do is to change that, or fix it – ultimately leading to more harm than good. Believe it or not, however, it’s more about the touching of a person’s heart – that connection by humans that let’s the other know, in this case the victim, that you care and are there for them – 24/7 no matter what. That heart-kiss is worth a thousand hugs and words, and sometimes it is like hugging from a distance. It can come from telling a person you are there via text, email, telephone and in person – the point being, it’s not about what you want to do to help the victim, but about what the victim needs.

So next time that friend or family member of yours calls that you know is hurting, give them that kiss from your heart – let them know you are there for them, whatever they need.

And for supporters who come up with predetermined judgment, or who come to their own conclusions – be careful about voicing those. Sometimes the damage done is more severe than you might think. Sometimes saying to your friend that it doesn’t sound possible, or that you just can’t believe so-and-so could do such a thing – or worse, questioning their belief about what is happening (when they live it day in and day out); you might as well just flat out say to them, “I don’t believe you and I think you’re the one who is crazy.”

Another crucial stage might be during recovery, "after the dust settles" or while it is settling – when people don’t always know what to do or what another needs in their time of healing. Getting the proper help is crucial, which is exactly why Angels Gate Network is gathering a list of resources for those in need. Having that list of resources available is extremely important because sometimes the victim does feel alone, and sometimes there is nothing anyone can do during the healing process. Just imagine all the healing victims have to endure – and all the healing this woman will have to endure after almost 3 years of being stalked, hacked and harassed – she's been an open book for abuse for a very long time. It's not like she's going to wake up one morning and suddenly be cured. I think we just wanted to convey that support is a wonderful thing, and it doesn’t mean you have to understand something to be able to support those you care about. All victims need the unbiased and unconditional love and support of family and friends; and we just hope that everyone remembers that all relationships take work, with the remembering of the most important thing: It is never too late to be there for someone.

Oh, and there were a few things about technology that came up in a recent conversation such as a few folks who thought their computers had been infected or “died” after visiting this woman’s Facebook page or after receiving a Facebook message from this woman. First and foremost, people should understand that if they don’t maintain their computers with anti-virus, keep them up to date and programs updated (and know what they are doing) – going on any site is a risk. Sites like Facebook especially are taking a risk, so no, receiving a message from a friend on Facebook or even an email is not going to give you a virus – it’s going to take a lot more than that. You can visit a site that has a virus on it, and if your anti-virus doesn’t catch it, you could kiss your computer goodbye. We again just want to convey that people – more to the point, your friends and family, can’t be the blame for viruses. So be kind with your words and be careful not to blame the wrong person for you being careless or your machine not being carefully maintained. This woman made one reference to her “address book” being hacked over 2 years ago and everyone in it since getting hacked at one time or another – and it seems several of those people now think it was “her” who is to blame.

We hope we have enlightened a few folks today, if anything to help them become better supporters to their family and friends. Hacking has become a huge issue across the globe, and it’s not just about this woman, or the guy down the block or the girl a city over – it is happening everywhere and in a headline on every newspaper, on every site in America. So don’t place blame but do help us try to solve the issues. We can all start by being better supporters of those going through some of these issues or who are facing crisis.


We will continue to keep you all updated on things, however, for now we wish you a very happy, healthy, fruitful and wonderful New Year.

Stay tuned for more enlightenment, and of course, more "Conspiracy – or Incompetency Theory?" (scheduled to be released in 2013) a book written by an "Anonymous Angel" who has been stalked, hacked and harassed by someone (or, rather, a few individuals) for more than 2-1/2 years now – and she's getting just a wee bit tired of it being allowed to continue.

As with anything in life, however, there is always something good that comes from tragedy (the lesson not always being for the person going through it); thus as we continue on this journey with her, we will update you and continue to focus on the good. And, we will most certainly be sharing those good things with all of you so that everyone can benefit.

In the meantime, those that may be experiencing trouble with stalkers, hacking or harassment, or who may need assistance please do give us a shout, we'd be happy to hear from you. Ciao for now! ^i^

No comments:

Post a Comment